His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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