That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
