He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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