I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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