# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
