bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
