speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
