dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
