If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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