I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize