i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
