I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
