let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
