Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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