I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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