I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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