yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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