he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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