Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
These tits shall not be calmed
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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