some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My life is pants optional.
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