IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think a kid would responsible me up
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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