no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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