I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
