you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
