apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
