I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
