5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
