oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
