More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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