You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
