Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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