hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
