My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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