I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
