evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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