I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Never underestimate the power of titties
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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