He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
