Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
