the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize