im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
