You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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