you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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