God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
