nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
