apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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