I never want to see another naked old woman again.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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