Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
PANTIES FOUND
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