Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
