I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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