We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
