Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
