This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
