your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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