So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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