Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
