cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Ladies don't puke and tell
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
