why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Four minutes until I can fart!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
