I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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