Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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