these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
