just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
