I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
